Season 3 EP. 85 No More Nice “Kill Being Nice Before It Kills You

Season 3 EP. 85 No More Nice “ Kill Being Nice Before It Kills You ” (C2TC8 H.E.R. Circle) 

What if the version of you that helped you survive…

is the very version of you your healing journey is asking you to release?

In this deeply reflective and emotionally layered episode of Cut2TheChase@8, Madison Samone Chase explores the hidden emotional, spiritual, and nervous system cost of survival niceness — and why being “nice” and being “kind” are not always the same thing.

This conversation unpacks how many women were conditioned to:

• overextend,
• overexplain,
• emotionally self-abandon,
• stay endlessly accessible,
• suppress discernment,
• and confuse approval with love, purpose, safety, or belonging.

But eventually healing forces a difficult realization: niceness and kindness can become polar opposites.

Because while niceness often survives through fear, emotional compliance, and approval-seeking…

kindness requires discernment, truth, emotional courage, intentional boundaries, and nervous system honesty.

Through storytelling, emotional wellness insight, spiritual reflection, the PPT Audit, and SAC framework, Madison reflects on the internal warfare many women silently fight while attempting to dismantle the conditioned “nice girl” identity that once helped them survive.

This episode is for the woman who: 

• feels emotionally exhausted from constantly over-giving,
• struggles with people pleasing,
• fears disappointing others,
• over-functions emotionally,
• feels guilty resting,
• or senses that her next chapter requires a different version of herself.

This episode also introduces a deeper glimpse into Madison’s personal healing journey and becoming through The SoulFull SHEO Manifesto, not as perfection, but as intentional emotional, spiritual, and nervous system transformation.

Because sometimes healing is not just about becoming more self-aware…

Sometimes healing requires going to war with the survival version of yourself you thought you needed in order to remain loved, accepted, emotionally safe, and emotionally chosen.

As always, Cut2TheChase@8 offers three intentional keys and one reflective question designed to help you pause, reset, and carry the lesson with you long after listening.

New episodes drop twice daily at 8AM & 8PM CST, with 30 new episodes launching on the 15th of every month for 15 days — offering 15-minute micro-learning moments for macro living.

🤍 Join the Cut2TheChasers H.E.R. Circle Founding Community

If this episode resonates and you’re seeking grounded emotional wellness, accountability, intentional healing, discernment, nervous system restoration, clarity, and transformational community, we’d love to grow with you.

👉 Join the community here:

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If today’s episode offered you clarity, encouragement, or a pause you didn’t know you needed, please subscribe, share this episode with someone you care about, leave a comment so this space becomes a dialogue and not just a monologue, and leave a five-star review to help this message reach others.

Blessings to You & Yours. Until tomorrow.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Season three, no more nice. This episode is entitled Kill Be Nice Before It Kills You. Sometimes growth doesn't feel peaceful at first. Sometimes it feels extremely uncomfortable. Because the version of you and I that survived one season of life may not be the version of you and I that can sustain the next. And so maybe healing isn't just about becoming more self-aware. Maybe it's also about becoming honest about what patterns, habits, emotional responses, and conditioned versions of ourselves can no longer go with us into the next chapter. Because some versions of us were built for survival. But this next season may require something completely different. Hey y'all, I'm Madison Simone Chase, also known as Miss Chase. I was raised by an incredible single mom who is my biggest fan, my BFF, my best friend forever for real. I am a celebrity certified personal trainer, a fitness and wellness expert, and a sports and entertainment media host. I was born in Fort Worth, Texas, raised in Dallas, Texas, built in Los Angeles, California. I trained at Juilliard with School of American Ballet in New York City, becoming the world's only three-time ESPN Miss Fitness Champion, appearing in more than 450 fitness DVDs and commercials. The first of those 450 DVDs was led by a celebrity trainer and the GOAT Gunner Peterson, who's known for training the Kardashian family. Yes, the Kardashian family. And as a celebrity personal trainer myself, uh I had the pleasure of training Robert Patterson of Twilight and Batman, Chris Tucker of Rush Hour, Amber Riley of Glee. As a sports and entertainment media host, some of my favorite red carpet moments include chatting with Richard Branson, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Emma Stone by Ola Davis, Tyler Perry, Tiana Taylor, Issa Ray, Kiki Palmer, and Justin Baldoni, to name a few. I share my accomplishments not to toot my own horn, but to honor the millions of sacrifices my mom planted in me so that I could blossom and flourish into the woman I am still becoming. So welcome to Cut to the Chase at 8. Now C2TC8, her circle. And what does her stand for? Her stands for high-performing, empowered women and some men who are ready to thrive in our circle. And so I know high performing often we think of the CEO, the executive, the woman in the business suit, but you could also be a mother, a single mother, a caretaker, an entrepreneur, an aspiring entrepreneur, working a nine to five, juggling two jobs, rebuilding quietly, or simply trying to hold yourself together while growing through life in real time. And this space, this circle, is for you. So if you're listening andor watching, I want you to pull up a digital chair, grab yourself a cup of hot or cold herbal tea, and welcome to my cozy home of Cut to the Chase at 8, a 15-minute micro learning moment for macro living transformations. And I am so overjoyed that you are here because this is where we explore and lean into life with our lived experiences, yours and mine, where we invite lots of grace in this space because we are living in some really interesting times. We chat all about spirit, mind, and body health that is ultimately our wealth and microdoses for macro living. So make sure you join me twice daily for just 15 minutes at 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Central Standard Time because this is your 15-minute chance for your daily pause, for a cause, clarity, wellness, grace, and intentional decision making. And giving yourself grace in this space because how we start our day and how we end it matters. Each episode, my offer to you, is three keys and one question to sit with. And hopefully encouraging you to give yourself, again, grace in whatever space you may be in, with something practical, something grounded, and something you can carry with you. So wherever you're listening from, I want you to turn it up and tune in. And if anything you hear today pricks your heart or lights a spark, I'd love for you to subscribe, share this podcast with someone you care about, and please leave a five-star rating and or leave a comment and make sure you download your favorite episodes. Now let's take a breath together. We're gonna inhale for three, two, one, exhale for five, four, three, two, one. Let's lean into today's episode of Cut to the Chase at eight, C2TC8, her circle. Let's cut the noise, let's get clear, let's get ready, set, and go and grow and be great. So the title for today's episode is Kill Be Nice Before It Kills You. You know, I've never been in a physical fight before. Not even one. Like, not even with my big sister, nor my little sister. Because I remember in sixth grade there was a little girl who wanted to fight me because my mom got a new car. I'm like, how do you want to fight me? And my mom has the car. Like, this has nothing to do with me. I'm just riding in the car. And I remember thinking, like, this is the strangest thing. And I think it really set a precedent. I'm like, fighting is stupid. Like, it makes no sense. Like, I don't understand why people do it. Because it it doesn't resolve anything. And so when you think about preparing to fight, like physically, I remember taking like a boxing class and just the aggression that I got out of taking like a boxing class. I was like, ah, I could do this. But I've never really been in a physical fight. But boxing makes me want to be a fighter, like the aggression of that, right? And maybe that's why this healing season has been so eye-opening for me. Because I'm realizing some of the hardest fights we ever fight, they're not physical at all. They're emotional, they're spiritual, they're internal. And sometimes the battle we've been silently fighting our entire lives, it's within ourselves. Not the healed version of ourselves, not the aligned version, not the kind version, but the conditioned survival version of ourselves we learn to become in order to feel safe, accepted, liked, chosen, needed, or emotionally protected. And for many women, including myself, that survival version became the nice girl. And I know someone recently said to me, Oh, you're so nice. And I was like, ah, I kind of like, no, like that is something that I am working on. I don't want to be the nice girl. I'm the kind girl, but I don't want to be the nice girl or the nice lady because I'm not a fan of the word girl. And I think one of the biggest lies many of us many of us were taught growing up was that being nice and being kind, they were the same thing, but they're not. In fact, I think eventually in healing, they become polar opposites, or at least they have to be in order for us to get to this next chapter. Because niceness often says, keep the peace, don't disappoint people, stay emotionally accessible, over-explain yourself, make everybody comfortable. Say yes, be agreeable, don't upset anyone, even if it costs you your peace, your nervous system, your discernment, your honesty, your boundaries, or your emotional well-being. But kindness, kindness is different. Kindness tells the truth. Kindness practices discernment. Kindness honors peace. Kindness allows boundaries. Kindness says no when necessary. Kindness understands that protecting our emotional well-being is not cruel. And I think many women are emotionally exhausted because we've spent years practicing survival niceness while thinking and calling it kindness. And eventually our body starts carrying the cost. Our nervous system starts carrying the cost. Our peace starts carrying the cost because niceness creates hyper-vigilance. We start overthinking, we start over-explaining, we start over-functioning, we start over-anticipating everybody else's emotions. We emotionally volunteer ourselves before people even ask. We feel guilty for resting, we feel guilty for disappointing people, we feel guilty for choosing ourselves. And after a while, our nervous system no longer knows the difference between love and emotional survival. And that is dangerous because some of us become so emotionally accessible to everybody else that we become emotionally disconnected from ourselves. And honestly, that's part of what this healing season has become for me. And I am not doing it perfectly, and sometimes it's clunky and it's awkward, and it is challenging, but it's being aware of those moments that I don't have it right, and I'm still practicing on being kind versus being nice. And that awareness that I have to literally go to war with a conditioned, nice version of myself that believe abandoning myself was a price of being loved, accepted, emotionally safe, and emotionally chosen. And when I say war, I don't mean anger, I don't mean cruelty, I don't mean becoming cold, I mean intentional interruption because healing is not passive, it is action, especially when we spend our whole lives being conditioned to survive through niceness. We almost have to retrain our nervous system to interrupt emotional patterns. We have to tolerate the discomfort, and we have to survive disappointing people. We have to allow silence, we have to stop emotionally rescuing everyone, we have to stop over-explaining every single boundary. And for many of us, that can feel terrifying because survival niceness once protected us, but eventually, what once protected us can begin destroying us, it can destroy our peace, and that's why the PPT audit matters so much. People, places, and things. Because if we're serious about our healing, our healing journey, we have to become honest about the who, the what, and the where that continues reinforcing survival niceness inside of us. And the PPT on it, the people, who benefits from your over-accessibility? Who expects immediate responses, unlimited emotional labor, constant understanding, endless grace, and emotional availability, without accountability, without reciprocity, or without stewardship? Places, what environments reward you for suppressing discernment in order to remain accepted? What places make you feel like, oh, you have to shrink, you need to overperform, stay agreeable, or emotionally self-abandon just to belong? Things, what habits continue to reinforce that survival niceness, that over-explaining, that people pleasing, that emotionally rescuing, that apologizing excessively, that immediately saying yes, that responding instantly, that anticipating everybody else's needs before your own. And this is where sack becomes important: spontaneous assertive communication. Because healing sometimes looks like pausing before responding, allowing silence, not emotionally volunteering yourself immediately, but asking, am I being kind or am I afraid? And honestly, that question alone can change our life. Because some women, some of us are not operating from kindness at all. We're operating from fear of rejection, fear of conflict, fear of being disliked, fear of being disappointing, and disappointing people, fear of no longer being needed. And eventually we realize we cannot carry both approval and purpose into our next chapter. We can't, because purpose requires discernment. And discernment requires emotional honesty. And emotional honesty requires courage. And I think that's part of what is becoming the sole full She E O manifesto and what that means for me personally in this healing season. Not becoming perfect, not hard, but becoming willing to dismantle and go to war with the survival version of myself that no longer aligns with my peace, my purpose, my healing, my nervous system, my wellness, or my next chapter. Because healing sometimes requires fighting the version of yourself that once helped you survive. And maybe that's why this work feels so emotional. Because we're not just changing habits, we're grieving identities. Which brings me to the three keys. Key number one, niceness often survives through fear, approval seeking, and emotional self-abandonment. Key number two, kindness requires discernment, emotional courage, nervous system honesty, and intentional boundaries. Key number three, healing sometimes requires finding the survival version of ourselves that no longer aligns with our next chapter. The one reflection question: What version of yourself and myself are we still protecting? That healing journey is asking us to release. So, what version of yourself are you still protecting that your healing journey is asking you to release? So before you go, I just want to say thank you from the bottom and the top of my heart. It truly has been an honor and a pleasure sharing this time with you. And thank you for continuing to give yourself grace in this space with me today. I am so genuinely thankful that you chose to step into this cozy digital home with me. So before you head out, let's quickly revisit our three keys and one reflection question from today's episode. Key number one, niceness often survives through fear, approval seeking, and emotional self-abandonment. Key number two, kindness requires our discernment, emotional courage, nervous system honesty, and intentional boundaries. Key number three, healing sometimes requires fighting the survival version of yourself that no longer aligns with your next chapter. And our one question to sit with: What version of yourself and myself are we still protecting? That our healing journey is asking and begging and pleading for us to release. So if today's episode offered you clarity, insight, or even a pause for a cause, you didn't know you needed. If there's anything that I shared that pricked your heart or lit a spark, I'd love for you to subscribe, share this podcast with someone you care about, or leave a five-star rating. It truly helps a space to grow and reach others who may need it. And please leave a comment so that this becomes a dialogue and not a monologue. And before we close, I want to extend a gentle invitation. If you've been listening, reflecting, and uh you feel moved to uh you feel moved to go beyond just listening and into a community. I'd love for you to consider becoming a part of the C2C T8, her circle, founding members. And this is a foundational community who want to build and grow and heal together intentionally, honestly, and hold each other accountable. And founding members will shape what this space becomes. And I'd be honored for you to be a part of that beginning. And so remember, 30 new episodes launch on the 15th of every month for 15 days with twice daily episodes at 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Central. So thank you for joining me here twice a day for our daily 15-minute micro dose for macro living. Now let's close with one breath together. We're gonna inhale for 3, 2, 1, exhale for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I'll see you tomorrow at 8 a.m. and again at 8 p.m. Central. I am Madison Simone Chase, and this is Cut to the Chase at 8. C2TC8, her circle. High performing, empowered women and men who are ready to thrive. And we are ready, set to go and grow. Let's be clear and let's be great. Blessings to you and yours until tomorrow.