Season 3 EP. 86 No More Nice “ When Niceness Masquerades As Service “

Season 3 EP. 86 No More Nice “ When Niceness Masquerades As Service “  (C2TC8 H.E.R. Circle)

What happens when women are taught to serve…but not always taught how to discern what — and who — they are actually assigned to?

In this deeply reflective episode of Cut2TheChase@8 H.E.R. Circle, Madison Samone Chase explores the blurry line between:

• service and overextension,
• kindness and niceness,
• emotional labor and assignment,
• ministry and chronic accessibility,
• and how many women — especially in faith spaces — silently become emotionally exhausted while believing they are simply “being good.”

This episode is not anti-service. It’s not anti-kindness. And it’s not anti-faith.It’s an honest conversation about how women are often applauded for:

• helping,
• serving,
• sacrificing,
• showing up,
• carrying others,
• emotional labor,
• ministry,
• flexibility,
• and endless availability…

without enough conversation around:

• discernment,
• stewardship,
• capacity,
• timing,
• purpose,
• peace,
• alignment,
• covering,
• or whether every need is actually their assignment to carry.

Through emotional storytelling, spiritual reflection, the PPT Audit, SAC framework, and intentional rebuilding language, Madison unpacks how niceness can sometimes quietly masquerade as service,  while slowly pulling women away from the very life, healing, peace, and purpose they were called to steward.

This episode explores:

• emotional exhaustion,
• overextension,
• chronic accessibility,
• nervous system depletion,
• people pleasing in faith spaces,
• ministry burnout,
• rebuilding after over-serving,
• and learning how to serve from discernment instead of conditioning.

You’ll also hear reflections connected to:

• Rooted, Not Reachable,
• The SoulFull SHEO Manifesto,
• stewardship,
• rebuilding,
• and becoming intentional about who truly has access to your time, energy, peace, and purpose.

Because kindness without discernment can slowly become overextension disguised as service. And not every opportunity to serve…

is your assignment. As always, this episode offers:

✨ 3 intentional keys

✨ 1 reflective question

✨ and a 15-minute micro-learning moment for macro living transformation.

🤍 Join the C2TC8 H.E.R. Circle community as we continue rebuilding, discerning, healing, and becoming together in real time.

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https://www.buzzsprout.com/2574476/support

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https://linktr.ee/madisonchasefitness

If this episode pricked your heart or gave language to something you’ve quietly been carrying, please subscribe, share this episode with someone you care about, leave a comment so this becomes a dialogue and not just a monologue, and leave a five-star review so this message can continue reaching women rebuilding in real time.

Blessings to you and yours. Until tomorrow.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Season three, No More Nice series. This episode is entitled When Niceness Masquerades as Service. Sometimes the hardest thing about our healing journey is not learning how to love people, but it's learning how to discern who we're actually assigned to. Because many of us were taught how to serve, but not always how to recognize when service slowly becomes overextension. And maybe that's why so many of us are emotionally exhausted. And we don't feel depleted because we're unkind, but maybe we feel exhausted because discernment slowly got replaced by being nice, quote unquote. And somewhere between helping, showing up, being available, being flexible, being accommodating, being supportive, being understanding, and constantly caring and serving everyone else, the line between service and overextension became blurry. Because not every opportunity to serve is our assignment. And not every person with access to us was sent by God. Hey y'all, I'm Madison Simone Chase, also known as Miss Chase. I was raised in church. My great-grandmother played the piano for the piano for the church that I grew up in. And my faith journey has always been at the center of who I am. And I am incredibly thankful to have been raised by a hard-working, sacrificial, high-performing single mother who remains my biggest fan and forever my best friend for real. And honoring God through service and making my mama proud and using the gifts that He gave me has always been deeply important to me. But somewhere along the way, while building dual careers in healthcare and wellness, showing up for people, working with celebrity clients, serving, helping, supporting, encouraging, and constantly quote unquote being nice, I started noticing a recurring theme in both my personal and professional life. I realized there's a difference between being kind and being endlessly accessible to everybody. And there's a difference between service and overextension. There's a difference between kindness with discernment and niceness without boundaries. And slowly I began recognizing how many people, places, and things in my life were constantly taking without ever truly pouring back into me, which is how I came up with the PPT audit. That realization didn't make me stop being who I'm called to be. It made me honest and clear. And that honesty became the beginning of my rebuilding season, which is the No More Nice series. So now in season three of Cut to the Chase at eight, C2TC8, her circle, after 333 episodes, this podcast has evolved into something revelatory, at least for me. And I'm sharing that journey. And so Cut to the Chase at A is now C2C TC8, her circle. And her stands for, and it is a space created for high-performing, empowered women who are ready to thrive, who are ready to stop merely surviving and finally begin rebuilding, discerning, healing, thriving, and becoming in real time. And alongside that rebuilding journey, the mantra that I am telling myself, the prayer that I'm telling myself is my goal is becoming the sole full She E O manifesto. And that's how that was born. Not as perfection, but as a commitment to stop shrinking, to stop overextending, to stop abandoning discernment, and stop delaying the purpose, the vision, the peace, and calling God placed inside of each of us. So whether you're a high-performing mother, a high-performing single mother, a high-performing caretaker, a high-performing entrepreneur, a high-performing aspiring entrepreneur that's working a nine-to-five and juggling two or three jobs and quietly rebuilding or simply trying to hold yourself together while growing through life in real time, this space and this circle is for you. So if you're listening or watching, I want you to pull up a real chair or a digital chair and grab yourself a cup of hot or cold herbal tea. And welcome to my cozy home of Cut to the Chase at 8C2TC8, a 15-minute micro-learning moment for macro living transformation. And I am truly overjoyed that you are here because this is where we explore life together through our lived experiences, yours and mine, while giving ourselves real grace in this space as we navigate some very interesting times. Because here we talk about spirit, mind, and body health, because our health truly is our wealth and microdosis for macro living. And so you make sure you join me daily for just 15 minutes at 8 p.m. and 8 a.m. Central Standard Time because this is your daily pause for a cause, for clarity, wellness, discernment, grace, healing, intentional decision making, and building and rebuilding because how we begin our day and how we end it matters. Each episode of my offer to you is three keys and one reflective question. Something practical, something grounded, and something you can carry with you long after the episode ends. So wherever you're listening from, turn it up and tune in. And if anything you hear today pricks your heart or lights a spark, I'd love for you to subscribe and share this episode with someone you care about. And leave a five-star review so that this space can continue to grow. And when you leave a comment, I want this to become a dialogue and not just a monologue. So let's start by taking one breath together. We're gonna inhale for three, two, one, exhale for five, four, three, two, one. Let's lean into today's episode of Cut to the Chase at eight, her circle, C2, TC8, her circle. Let's cut the noise, let's get clear, let's get ready, set, and go and grow toward the life we were truly called to steward. So the title for today's episode is When Niceness Masquerades a Service. You know, one of the things I've been reflecting on during this rebuilding season and this healing season is how blurry the line can become between service and overextension, especially for women, especially women raised in faith spaces, especially unmarried women, because many of us were taught serve, help, show up, support, encourage, be flexible, be accommodating, be understanding, be available, be selfless in your single unmarried season. And while none of those things are bad, in fact, kindness is one of the fruits of the spirit. But niceness, nah, niceness is different. Because kindness requires discernment, wisdom, timing, stewardship, capacity, alignment, and purpose. Niceness often requires constant accessibility. And somewhere along the way, many of us silently begin believing being needed means being valuable. And honestly, that line gets especially blurry in faith spaces because women are often applauded for emotional labor, sacrifice, ministry, helping, serving, carrying, supporting, and constantly showing up. But there isn't always enough conversation around discernment, alignment, assignment, stewardship, capacity, timing, covering, peace, or whether the things we keep carrying was actually assigned to us by God in the first place. And I think that's why so many women become emotionally exhausted. And not because we're women who lack wisdom, and not because we're selfish, and not because we don't love people, but because somewhere between service and survival, our discernment stopped. And who we were actually called to steward. Because not every need is our assignment and not every opportunity to serve is our calling. And that's a hard realization, especially when our identity has become deeply connected to being helpful, being available, being reliable, being able to birth and nurture things, being supportive, and being nice. But kindness with discernment understands something really important. Every yes cost us something. Woo! Every yes cost us something. It cost us our time, our peace, our nervous system, our energy, our focus, our purpose, our capacity. And eventually, if discernment is missing, constant service can quietly become chronic overextion. And I think that's what this rebuilding season has exposed for me personally. Not that serving is wrong, not that helping is wrong, not that kindness is wrong, but there's a difference between serving from an assignment and overextending from conditioning. Because some women have become so accustomed to being emotionally available that they no longer pause long enough to ask: is this aligned? Is this sustainable? Is this wise? Is this peaceful? Is this reciprocal? Is this assigned? Do I actually have the capacity for this right now? And honestly, that's where the PPT audit becomes important. The PPT audit. What is it? P the first P is for people. Who benefits most from your inability to discern when enough is enough? Who constantly receives your time, your energy, your support, your emotional labor, your flexibility, and your availability without ever truly considering your capacity? P. Places and patterns. What places and patterns keep convincing us that chronic overextension equals goodness? What happens when our habits make us feel guilty for resting, for saying no, for pausing, for protecting our peace, and for prioritizing the vision God gave you to steward? The T, things, and tolerance. What things are we tolerating because we've confused niceness with kindness? Because kindness can still have boundaries. Kindness can still say, not now, not right now. I don't have the capacity. That's not aligned. I need rest. Or I'm not assigned to carry this. And here's what I'm able to give. And honestly, that's where SAC comes in. Spontaneous assertive communication framework. That is stewardship. And what has God actually assigned to you during your stewardship and during your spontaneous assertive communication during this season of your life? Your peace, your healing, your children, your nieces, your nephews, your grandchildren, your purpose, your health, your rebuilding, your business, your nervous system, assignment and assertive communication. Are the people draining your emotional capacity actually assigned to your life? Or have their accessibility to you and your niceness replaced discernment? And how can you communicate assertively what your assignment is? And C capacity and communication. Do you genuinely have the emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental capacity to communicate everything you keep saying yes to? And are we constantly pulling from depletion while calling it kindness? And honestly, that realization changed a lot for me because I started recognizing how often we as women are taught how to serve people without being taught how to discern and who we are actually assigned to. And maybe that's why rooted, not reachable, became so important to me. Because rooted women stopped performing endlessly being accessible. We stopped believing every need is our assignment. We stopped confusing chronic emotional labor with kindness. And that began stewarding our purpose, our peace, our timing, our calling, our nervous system, our dreams, the life we want to live, our healing, and the life God actually assigned us to build. And our dreams are important in speaking life into our dreams. And we have to be very careful when someone speaks something different over you, because that is called a curse. If people have a vision of you and you know that that is not what God is saying about you and your future. So be careful. When you share your dreams with people, and when you share the vision that God has given to you, you want to be careful about who you share that with and what people say over you when they watch you going through your healing season. Which brings me to our three keys. Key number one, kindness requires discernment, stewardship, and wisdom, not just availability. Many of us were taught that being constantly available, emotionally flexible, accommodating, helpful, and endlessly sacrificial was evidence of being good or nice or the good girl. But eventually, healing teaches us kindness is not measured by how depleted we become while serving everyone else. That service has to extend to yourself. And true kindness also asks: Is this aligned? Is this wise? Is this sustainable? Do I have the capacity? Is this actually my assignment? And am I serving from peace or from guilt, pressure, conditioning, or fear of disappointing people? Because kindness without discernment can slowly become chronic overextension, disguised as service, which brings me to key number two. Not every opportunity to serve is connected to your purpose, timing, or assignment. One of the hardest lessons in rebuilding is realizing every need is not yours to carry. Some of us become so accustomed to being the helper, the strong one, the dependable one, the emotionally available one, the ministry worker, the peacemaker, the fixer, the supportive friend, or the endlessly accommodating woman who allows everyone to dump on you. That we stop discerning whether the time or the thing that is draining us is actually aligned with the life God assigned us to steward. Because being needed is not always confirmation, and constant access to you is not always covenant. And sometimes discernment means recognizing that serving everyone can quietly distract you from the very vision, peace, healing, and rebuilding season you were called to protect. Which brings me to key number three. Discernment protects your peace, your nervous system, purpose, and future from chronic emotional overextension. Every yes costs us something. It costs us our time, our energy, our emotional capacity, and our nervous system. The reflection question: Where in my life have I confused constant accessibility, service, or emotional labor with assignment, stewardship, and kindness? So before you go, I just want to say thank you from the bottom and top of my heart. Thank you for continuing to grow, rebuild, discern, heal, and give yourself real grace in this space with me. And thank you for allowing this space to evolve in real time. So before we close, let's revisit our three keys and one reflection question from today's episode. Key number one, kindness requires discernment, stewardship, and wisdom, not just availability. Key number two, not every opportunity to serve is connected to our purpose, timing, or assignment. Key number three, discernment protects our peace, our nervous system, our purpose, and future from chronic emotional overextension. And our one reflection question: where in my life have I confused constant accessibility, service, or emotional labor with assignment stewardship and kindness? So if today's episode pricked your heart or lit a spark or gave you clarity or helped you pause for a cause and reflect in a deeper way, I'd love for you to subscribe. Share this episode with someone you care about, leave a comment so that this becomes a dialogue and not a monologue. And leave a five-star rating and a review. If you fill in, or send me a text so this space can continue to grow and serve others. And if you've been quietly rebuilding in real time alongside me, I'd love for you to consider joining the C2TC8 Hearst Circle community as we continue becoming together. Because this community will eventually shape what this space becomes. Because this season in our lives and this healing journey is not about perfection. It's about stewardship, it's about discernment, it's about healing and rebuilding and building and become rooted instead of endlessly being reachable. So thank you for joining me for another 15-minute micro learning moment for macro living transformation. And let's take one breath together to close this out. We're gonna inhale for three, two, one. We're gonna exhale for five, four, three, two, one. I'm Madison Simone Chase, and this is Cut to the Chase at a C2TC8, her circle. Let's cut the noise, let's get clear, let's get ready, set, and go and grow toward the life we were truly called to steward. Blessing to you and yours until tomorrow.